Cain & Abel

Whatever little I know of the Bible I owe to my father's storytelling. To teach me a point he would reference the Bible to give a story of how lessons were learned. Sick as it is, Cain and Abel is my favorite. My father stood by this story and used it multiple times in my growing up to tell me how important it was to love my sister but most of all to never be jealous. Perhaps his brother's contemptment for him made this story a favorite of his.

Disliking my sister has never been an option because of this story. As a matter of fact, every time Im angry with her I remind myself it isn't allowed because it is displeasing to God and my father. Displeasing either sends one to Hell.

At age 20 I find myself disagreeing with my father on many ideas. In the past I have changed my mind to suit his beliefs because I thought that is what children are supposed to do. This new found idea independence is wonderful. Instead of "Oh, okay, I see what you're saying, you're right." I now say "Then I guess we disagree.."

A new area of disagreement, though I wouldn't dare tell him, is my take on the story of Cain and Abel. Now hold on a minute; Cain committed murder out of jealousy and I will stand firm that that was wrong of him for the rest of my life. What I am not so firm on nowadays is that I am not allowed to dislike my sister because of the story.

I am going to put this plain; I love my sister because she is just that. But I am appalled at her lack of respect for anyone, including herself. My days of caring whole-heartedly for someone who treats me like dirt, are done. She was to be my maid of honor, I planned to name any future daughter Alison, she is someone I have always thought I could love unconditionally, she is someone I would have taken a bullet for. Now I feel that I can only love her as I love thy neighbor--as a common woman, not a blood sister.

I will continue to pray about this and hope that the Lord can change my mind; as for my father--he cannot.